“Why didn’t you just launch it already?”
Four years. That’s how long this course has been in the making. And honestly? I’m glad it took this long.
The Imposter Syndrome That Nearly Stopped My Course Creation
Back in 2020, a year into my pivot, I had something unique. In 2019, I became the first designer I knew who had completely pivoted to white label design as my main service offering. Not a side hustle, not a “when things get slow” backup plan – I did a full 180 with my messaging, my target audience, everything. I had figured it all out on my own because there was literally no one to learn from.
But having something unique and believing I could teach it? Two very different things.
The voice in my head was loud: “Who would want to learn from you? You’re not Elizabeth McCravy or Rebel and Rise. Who are you to think people would pay for a course from you?”
Imposter syndrome is a sneaky thing. It convinced me that my struggles, my trial-and-error journey, my hard-won lessons weren’t valuable. That because I wasn’t already a “big name” in the design world, I had nothing worth teaching.
I sat on the idea for far too long.
Until other designers started asking me about my journey. Fellow white label designers I worked with, agency owners I collaborated with – they all said the same thing: “Kayla, you NEED to create this White Label design course. There’s nothing like it out there.”
Their voices got louder than my doubt. Finally, I made a decision: if I was going to do this, I was going to do it RIGHT.
Investing in Authentic Course Creation
In early 2022, I hired Louise from Fleurir Online. It was a big investment for me – both financially and time-wise. Money was tight, but I knew I needed to approach this properly.
I had seen too many courses appear overnight, promising the world and delivering disappointment. I’d watched designers spend hundreds or thousands on courses that felt like money grabs – surface-level content, no real support, creators who disappeared after launch to work on their next quick win.
I refused to be that.
This course was never going to be about fast money. It was going to be about real value, real support, real transformation for the designers who trusted me with their investment.
Louise and I got to work. My office wall became covered in sticky notes – a full outline of modules and lessons taking shape. We had bi-weekly meetings, and I was making real progress. The course was coming together beautifully.
And then life had other plans.
When Everything Fell Apart
Looking back now, I call it the avalanche. It started in 2021 and didn’t stop for two years.
My grandma Sharon was diagnosed with cancer. She fought like a champ through treatments, beat the cancer, only to develop pneumonia in scar tissue from her treatment that couldn’t be fixed. She was sent home on hospice for four long months. Watching someone you love deteriorate in front of you, knowing there’s nothing you can do – it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever endured. She passed in April 2021.
Six months later, my grandpa Clyde – her husband – passed unexpectedly in the hospital. Because of COVID protocols, we couldn’t even be there with him which was another giant blow.
By this point, I was working with Louise, trying to push through the grief and keep making progress on the course. But the hits kept coming.
June 2022 brought a loss that shattered me in a completely different way. My close friend Josh, only 33 years old, was killed in a workplace accident while working as a tow truck driver. I found out about his death via phone call right before a client call.
Thirty-three years old. He had his whole life ahead of him, things were finally falling into place for him. When someone your age dies suddenly like that, it puts everything into perspective in the most jarring way possible.
The Breaking Point
[Content warning: The following section mentions suicide. Please skip ahead to “Finding My Way Back” if you need to.]
A few days later, we attended his burial in Salisbury’s military cemetery. That night, I took my daughter to her first night of VBS, trying to maintain some normalcy. As I was dropping her off, I got a message from my sister’s friend asking me to check on her – she was having suicidal ideation again.
My sister has struggled with anxiety and depression for years, with two previous suicide attempts. I immediately drove to her house. She wouldn’t come to the door. With my other sister on the phone, I grabbed the spare key from the backyard and let myself in.
I found her unresponsive with an empty pill bottle beside her. That’s when I told my sister to call 911.
I propped her up, talking to her and shaking her but when she still didn’t respond I called my husband and put him on speaker as he drove over. I needed him to talk me through what I had to do and keep me grounded.
Through tears and a deep ragged breath, and without getting too graphic here, I did what I needed to do to get the pills out of her system while waiting for EMS to arrive. Thankfully, she came to right before the EMS arrived. They assessed her, took her to the hospital and she was later placed in treatment.
Going from my friend’s burial to being confronted with my sister’s possible suicide in the span of hours – I had never experienced trauma like that. Seeing her unresponsive was terrifying, and the emotional overload was more than I could bear.
Soon after, I started a pattern of anxiety and panic attacks that I’d never experienced before. It affected everything in my life, including my client work. I went through a period where I had no empathy for trivial things – a rude client nitpicking a project felt so idiotic to me when I’d been watching life disappear from people I loved. I found myself thinking, “There are so many other important things than this.” And constantly questioning “Why am I doing this? Why do I have a business? What is the POINT?” I had to work through regaining empathy for others and finding my way back to myself.
Louise, in her wisdom and grace, recognized what I couldn’t see at the time. I was drowning. She released me from our contract, telling me I needed to grieve properly, to heal. I wasn’t ready to create something meaningful while I was barely surviving and fundamentally questioning everything – including whether I even wanted to keep my business running. Part of me was ready to burn it all down and hunker down with my babies, soaking up every moment I could with them and my family instead of pouring energy into work.
The Avalanche Continues
While I was still in the midst of all of this turmoil, the losses didn’t stop coming.
My uncle was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and was gone within months. He was only in his early sixties, full of joy and laughter with a heart of gold. Watching him diminish so quickly broke our hearts.
Six months later, another uncle from the same side of the family passed from a fentanyl-laced overdose. We didn’t even know he was struggling with addiction. Some dealer was essentially handing out death sentences, and we lost him just like that.
My great-grandmother, who was 98 at the time and living with dementia, had to bury another child. It’s a cruel thing – people with dementia may forget devastating news, but the grief lingers in their spirit. She couldn’t understand why she felt so deeply sad.
Finding My Way Back
By early 2024, something shifted. The acute grief was still there, but I felt a pull back to the course that I couldn’t ignore.
I realized that one-off mentorship calls weren’t enough for me anymore. I wanted to be there for designers throughout their entire journey – celebrating their wins, being a sounding board during tough client situations, offering encouragement when they hit roadblocks. I wanted to create the community I’d always dreamed of. I wanted to serve them with my whole heart by finally creating a comprehensive white label design course.
Lauren Rich, a friend, client, and someone I’d worked alongside in white label situations – one of the early voices encouraging me to create this course – recommended I reach out to Mara Kucirek. We hopped on a call and clicked immediately. I hired her on the spot.
This time, I was going ALL IN. My husband had camera equipment from his small YouTube channel in the car culture space, so we had that foundation. I bought professional lighting, quality microphones, an Artlist.io membership for background music. I wanted my content to feel professional and relatable – a mix between YouTube and podcast episodes, like the creators I admire.
I bought a lifetime subscription to ThriveCart and customized everything with Mara’s help. I wrote script outlines but gave myself permission to be authentically me – to go on tangents, to show up as I would want a course creator to show up if I were the student.
Once all the lessons were filmed, I hired my husband to edit the content and teach me some techniques to help streamline the process. I was so pumped. We had launch plans, email sequences ready, everything building toward a Black Friday beta launch.
Then, once again, life.
In October 2024, right in the thick of launch preparation, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma – a form of bone cancer. We didn’t know the extent yet, and honestly, getting hit with another health crisis at the peak of launch prep felt like a cruel joke.
But I’d come too far to stop. Thankfully, we later learned it was caught at pre-stage 1, incredibly early. I kept going, buttoned up the launch details, scheduled the emails, talked it up on social media.
The launch exceeded every expectation I had. I would have been thrilled with one student, but six founding beta students joined during that initial launch. I was absolutely shocked.
Everything I’d been through – the grief, the trauma, the resilience I’d had to build – it was all worth it. What I’d created was actually needed, and I was beyond proud of myself for seeing it through.
The Disaster That Became A Gift
Just as I started dripping content to my beta students, disaster struck again. We lost all our footage.
I was gutted. Completely devastated. But my students were incredible – “This is a beta course, it’s all good!” they said. Their grace gave me strength to start over.
I re-filmed everything, which put me behind schedule, but something beautiful happened in that delay. The content got even better. The second time around, I was more relaxed, more natural, more myself.
The feedback I’ve received has validated every decision I made about taking time to do this right. Students are thankful for the professional editing, the background music, the lighting, the slides, the resources – all the details I invested in because I refused to rush.
But more than that, the DMs and voice messages flooding my inbox from students asking for advice, sharing their wins, venting about difficult clients – that’s when I knew I’d created what I always wanted. Direct access to fully unfiltered mentorship. A real community where we celebrate together and support each other through challenges.
Why Slow Course Building Creates Better Design Education
The course I would have launched in 2020 versus what I’m launching now? They’re completely different beasts.
Fast launches often mean surface-level content, untested frameworks, forced community, and creators who move on to their next launch before truly serving their first students.
Taking four years – through unimaginable loss and trauma – allowed me to:
- Rewrite scripts multiple times based on real experience
- Test every framework through actual white label partnerships
- Build authentic relationships that became genuine community
- Process my own growth and healing while creating
- Understand what designers actually need, not just what I think they need
Every student gets content that’s been battle-tested, not just theorized. They get my heart, not just my expertise.
The Numbers vs. The Impact
A friend recently texted me something that brought me to tears:
“I know it’s frustrating to feel like you’re in the red for the course right now, but the impact you’ve created is priceless. It’s easy to forget that when numbers scream louder than gratitude, but your students remember who made a difference. That sticks longer than a launch ever does.”
She’s right. I’m currently finishing final edits on Module 3, about to complete Module 4. I now have 12 students who are experiencing real transformation. I’m building a Discord community with intention, not just because it’s what course creators “should do.”
And the most beautiful news of all – my mother-in-law is officially in REMISSION. God’s grace continues to amaze me.
Even as I write this, I’m walking through another loss – someone I’ve loved since I was 8 years old is now on hospice. But I’m different now. Stronger. The trauma and grief taught me resilience I never knew I had.
Making White Label Design Education Accessible
When it came time to price this course, I agonized over it. I knew I had incredible value to offer, but I also wanted it to be accessible to every designer who needed it – whether you’re in the beginning season of business, praying you can make it work with no money to spare, or you’re seasoned in 1:1 work but want to explore white label.
This course has never been and never will be a money grab. Yes, bills matter, and yes, I need to sustain my business. But profit was never the driving force. Transformation was.
What I’d Tell My 2020 Self
If I could go back and tell my 2020 self anything, it would be this:
The course you want to launch next month isn’t ready yet. Neither are you. You’re going to go through fire that will refine both you and your message. Every loss, every setback, every moment you think you can’t continue – it’s all adding something irreplaceable to what you’re building.
Your students won’t just be getting content. They’ll be getting your heart, your authentic story, your hard-won wisdom. That can’t be rushed.
Trust the timing. Trust the process. Trust that God’s grace will carry you through.
Almost There
As I put the finishing touches on Module 4, with The White Label Way now live and available, building out the affiliate program, and even considering trademarking the name, this feels less like a business milestone and more like a celebration.
Every module carries pieces of my story – the mistakes, the breakthroughs, the community that supported me when I couldn’t support myself. Every resource was created with intention. Every framework was tested through real partnerships with real agencies.
This isn’t just a course. It’s four years of my life, refined through loss and strengthened by community, built brick by brick with love.
In a world that screams “launch fast, fail fast, iterate later,” sometimes the most valuable things come from taking your time. From going through the fire. From building something that actually changes lives.
I spent four years building this course instead of just launching one because some things – the things that truly matter – can’t be rushed.
And I wouldn’t change a single moment of that journey.
Ready to join me on this white label adventure? The White Label Way is live and in our final beta phase. I can’t wait to welcome you into our community, great things really are worth the wait.
Leave a Reply